Zen and the Art of Choosing a Dog

Getting a pet dog is really a Zen process of self-discovery. You can't know the right dog for you until you know yourself. For example, a jock would prefer an active dog. A lazy slug would prefer a dog that doesn't require much exercise. A touchy-feely person would prefer a friendly dog. A tightly-wound person would probably prefer a dog that doesn't bark or shed too much. Think of picking a pup like choosing a mate; you have to find one that compliments your personality.

Here are some very general guidelines. Of course, we won't list every dog breed on the planet, but they'll get you thinking in the right direction:

Intelligent dogs:

• Poodle
• German Shepherd
• Australian Sheepdog
• Belgian Sheepdog
• Keeshond

Dogs that don't require much exercise

• Dachshund
• Brussels Griffon
• French Bulldog
• Manchester Terrier
• toy breeds (such as a Chihuahua or Pekingese)

Good with kids

• Pug
• English Cocker Spaniel
• Beagle
• Basset Hound
• Brittany Spaniel
• Old English Sheepdog

Good city dogs

• Pug
• Basenji
• Boston Terrier
• Bulldog
• Lhasa Apso
• Welsh Corgi
• Scottish Terrier

Quiet dogs

• Basenji
• Borzoi
• Chesapeake Bay Retriever
• Greater Swiss Mountain Dog
• Whippet

Friendly dogs

• Brittany Spaniel
• Bichon Frise
• Old English Sheepdog
• Bearded Collie
• Golden Retriever
• Labrador Retriever

There are dozens of breeds and dozens of traits to sort them by. You get the idea.

Again, these guidelines are EXTREMELY rough. Picking a dog based on these lists is like getting a phone number off a bathroom wall. There are no shortcuts. A good place to start your research is by checking out the American Kennel Club's complete list of breeds. Then try going to a dog show or talking to a vet. In our opinion, though, the absolutely best way to research is to talk to friends who have dogs. Believe us, they'll give you more information than you care to know.

In case you didn't realize it, all of the breeds we listed above are purebreds. This means that they are the product of parents of the same breed. To get a true purebred worthy of being in a dog show, you often have to pay thousands of dollars. Most people get mixes of some sort (the "cockapoo," a combo of a cocker spaniel and a poodle, is quite popular), because rumor has it that purebred dogs can have personality problems because the gene pool is so small (think of people who marry their cousins). As a result, many people choose to go with a mutt, a mish-mash of different breeds. Mutts can combine the best of two or more breeds in a one-of-a-kind dog. Having a mutt is like the canine equivalent of owning an original work of art. Benji was a mutt. And who doesn't like Benji?

Is this all sounding like too much work? A dog is a living thing, but millions of dogs die every year because their masters didn't realize how much work caring for a dog really is. We're not trying to bum you out, but this is nothing compared to how bummed you'll be if you become one of those failed former dog owners.

Now that you've got yourself figured out, it's time to figure out what kind of life you lead.

• Evaluate your living space. How much space do you have for a dog? Do you have a fenced yard? What kind of life do you lead? Do you want a great big dog, a little bitty dog or something in between? Sure, that Irish Wolfhound matches your eyes perfectly, but it's not gonna fit into your studio apartment. Conversely, that Chihuahua is never going to be able to navigate your 40-acre spread. It seems obvious, but no matter how well your personality fits a particular breed, you have to make sure that your living arrangements match it too. It would be cruel to keep a big dog locked up all day in a tiny apartment.
  
  
• Evaluate your schedule. How much are you home? How many times per day can you walk a dog? If you just thought "per day?" then go back to step 1and reread it ten times. Some dogs are more independent than others, so if you're not around a lot, it won't do you much good to get a clingy dog. Always remember that dogs get lonely, and if you're gone for days on end (even if the neighbor pops in just to feed it), the dog'll still get depressed. Yes, doggie Prozac stock has gone through the roof, but at whose expense?
  
  
• Anticipate future lifestyle changes. Do you have kids? Will you ever have kids? Are you sure? You don't want to get into a situation where you have to put the kid up for adoption because he or she can't get along with the dog. Better to get a kid-friendly dog in the first place, just in case.
  
  
• Evaluate your activity level. Picture your idea of a fun time, and be sure that the right kind of dog fits within it. If you love to go hiking, a Yorkie's not gonna be able to keep up. If you like sitting and knitting, a Border Collie's going to make your life a living hell.

Whoever said that two can live as cheaply as one never had a dog. A dog isn't going to break you financially, but it is an investment. Over the life of the pet, you can expect to shell out as much money as you would on a decent used car (or a crappy new one). But really, which would you rather have - a Yugo or unconditional love? Be honest.

The actual dog isn't expensive (you can get one for free at your local animal shelter). Rather, most of the expense will be buying dog food. Ask your vet to recommend a brand.

Vet? What vet? The vet that you're going to take your dog to as soon as you get home from the shelter or breeder, Sherlock. Proper veterinary care is non-negotiable. Things like check-ups, shots, neutering or spaying, flea and tick control, and dental care will keep your dog in good running condition and win you a place in Good Dog Owner Heaven. Once a year is all it takes, assuming your pup isn't playing in the street or smoking a pack a day. But it's still an expense, and you should always have a little backup cash handy in case the dog accidentally swallows your eyelash curler.

Other doggie accoutrements that you'll need to purchase include (for starters):

• Big, sturdy, stable, unbreakable food dish and water dish
• Comfortable, strong collar or harness and matching leash
• Dog bed
• Grooming supplies
• Chew toys
• Current ID tag with address and phone number (really important!)
• Solid, roomy crate for transport (many dogs also use them as a safe sleeping place in the house)
• Warm, dry, wind-and-waterproof doghouse (but your dear little pup will be an indoor dog, we hope)
• Little knitted doggie sweaters are optional in cooler climates.